Let me start by saying that I love the Olympics. The flags, the national anthems, the fractions of seconds, the underdog stories, the superhuman displays, the history, the hard bodies, the soul crushing lows, the dizzying highs, the tear jerking soft focus personal hardship stories. Can't get enough of all of it. Yes, sport is partly seeing people who think they're amazing come crashing down, and that's why no one outside of mainland USA roots for Americans. "Miracle in Ice" is known as "The day that lives in Ice-famy" in the rest of the world, fyi. But every so often a Jamaican bobsled team or Eddie the Eagle comes along and reminds us that sport can be as simple as giving your all to something despite having limited abilities, resources and training. As teachers in Korea I think we can all relate to that. Minus the gold medals, respect and sense of accomplishment. And fame, dignity, proper funding, input and personal growth. But doing stuff, that's the same.
For all of those reasons I decided once Vancouver was elected host of the 2010 Games that I would be in attendance. I was fortunate enough to actually be in Prague, the city they were holding the vote, that day back in 2003. Most trips to Prague result in it being a beer soaked fairy tale blur and mine was no different. But I do remember putting my giant pilsner mug down long enough to applaud the decision for my home country to play host to the biggest winter party. And to suff a few Czech crowns in the stripper's g-string.
In true Olympic spirit, Vancouver's win was a close one over Pyeongchang Korea, the perpetual bridesmaid of an Olympic host hopeful. Adorable. At the time I was a naive young buck who literally just finished university a few days prior and was lost in Europe with the whole world at my feet. Little did I know I would give up on life so easily and end up in the Hermit Kingdom for half a decade. In retrospect, a Pyeongchang win would have been more convenient for me. But I just can't bring myself to root for Korea even if it benefits me personally. I'm just a terrible person.
Anyway, here we are in the future, 2010, on the cusp of said Olympic games. Long story short, I had no idea what I was doing with my life (hard to tell, right?) the last few years and thus couldn't commit to buying tickets. But now due to the blackness of my principal's heart I will be taking my vacation over the 2 weeks the Olympics will be taking place. This might sound convenient, but there have been set backs.
First, I fly over Vancouver on my way to T-dot (that's what us cool Toronto area hip young dudes call Toronto, duh!) literally during the opening and closing ceremonies, but I can't go through it because Korean Air doesn't fly there and SMOE is buying my ticket. So then I can just catch a flight in Toronto to Vancouver, right? Well, I suppose I could add another 5.5 hour flight on to the 13 I already have. Both ways. Ok, sure, I can make it work.
My next problem was finding a reasonably priced place to sleep while there. Because we love capitalism and there can be no other system where the government helps out the little guy in the least because that's communism and there'll be purges and death panels and the Man will come and sleep with your wife and eat your children, hotels and hostels have tripled their already atrocious West Coast prices for the duration of the Games. But then I had another convenient coincidence fall from the sky. My best friend from home just got a job in the Vancouver area and set up residence last weekend. It's not the Ritz, or even Motel 6 and frankly I'd be amazed if it has running water or heat, but it's a roof! Sha-BAAM!
So now I'm there and challenging the rats for the sofabed, what to see? Well, almost everything's sold out by now. There's the women's hockey game between China and Switzerland available, which would actually be fine if it was less than $50 for the nosebleeds at the ungodly hockey hour of 12 noon. It's not that I'm against drinking beer and shouting that early in the day (just ask my neighbours), it's just that I don't know how I'm expected to be washed and out of the house at that time. I'm on vacation! Then there's curling which I will watch with serious intensity on TV, but only while partaking in another famous BC pastime that I can't do here in Korea due to lack of necessary equipment. Often times I catch myself standing, shouting "SWEEEEEEP!!! HAAAARD!!!" at the TV and I don't think the competitors would appreciate that live. I have to say, though, that out of all the athletes at the Olympics you know the curlers would be the most fun to party with. Hell, if you're from Canada or the MidWest you probably already have. At a family reunion.
My winter sports are short track and long track speed skating. Short track is like rollerderby, but with skill. Canada is good at it while Korea is excellent, which means I could support my Canucks while also booing the Koreans as loud as my blowhorn and ironically used un-thunder sticks would allow me. Screw the Olympic spirit, I'd be lucky not to leave the arena without a human rights abuse charge leveled against me. Oh, how I would jeer their very existance. Originally tickets for these events were $50-$200. Now people are re-selling them online for $200-$8-mother-sucking-000. There are no anti-scalping laws in BC so even the official site has set up an auction for re-sell. Long live capitalism!
I keep thinking of all that wisdom that the bumper stickers I've encountered over the years has taught me. I really should live for today becaus I could be hit by a bus tomorrow, which coincidentally is the first day of my life. I would already be there if being a cynical ass were an event, as we all hope it will be by 2014. But until then I've got to decide if it's worth the time and effort to do all this. As my sister said, "I would just think the best and cheapest view would be from the sofa in my warm livingroom." Well played, Team Reason. Well played.
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