There are several things I don't understand about English camp, the first obviously being where Koreans came up with the term 'camp' for 'additional classes that are almost exactly like normal classes'. Besides that, I present to you my top 5 list of irrationalities, irritabilities and ir....regular verbs(?) of English Camp.
1) Keeping the class list more secret than Bush's location in the afternoon of 9/11 (my guess: Jack in the Box in Idaho). What grade, how many, what level? Apparently, these are all insignificant queries for the teacher, yet we are still expected to create 15 days of informative and entertaining lessons for these mystery guests. It's not even like no one knows or anything. I see the permission slips from the kids on my co-teacher's desk weeks ahead of time, but if I happen to glance at them they are promptly stowed away in a locked drawer. I have been in Korea long enough to know that information, integral or mundane, is the second most valuable commodity here (after subway seats, of course). It still drives me nuts, though. I do get it however. If you had some sort of idea of what's going on then how would the higher ups get off on controlling you?
2) 25 kids maximum are supposed to be in each class. So, that's 25 mothers (I would be PC and say "or fathers", but it's Korea so let's just be honest) who filled out the form. It's first come, first served, or whoever hands over the thickest envelope or whines on the phone the most, etc. So there are kids out there who wanted to come but couldn't. Tomorrow is the last day of camp, and out of the total 75 kids on my list at least 14 of them haven't showed up once. I simply do not understand why you would go to the trouble of signing up for something, knowing you're taking a valuable spot that someone else really wants, and then simply not coming at all over 3 weeks. Not only that, but I made books and printed off a copy of the 23 page thing for every single student. I find this extremely, unbelievably selfish. Notice I didn't use the adjective "surprising".
3) Out of the ones who have come, I would say maybe 10/75 show up at least 4 days a week. The others are in here maybe once or twice, or if they're up to it a whole 3 days a week. Not only that, but they waltz in 5, 10, 15 minutes late. It's a 40 minute class. WTF is the point? And it's always the slowest ones, too. I have to explain everything all over again to them, and they just can't get it through their adorably thick skulls. I ask one of the other kids to explain it in Korean. Still no sign of life. Forget it, you'll probably have to leave early anyway.
4) Mothers who 'hide' outside my class. I don't know if they really believe I can't see them or if they're half retarded. Either way, it's annoying as hell. You can try to duck down behind that shelf in the hallway, but with your giant head with the even gianter permed hair-do it's not going to happen. I don't care if you want to watch the class, I've offered for you to come and sit down inside if you want. But no, you perfer to pretend to walk away, then sneak back to your post behind the pilar outside the door. By the way, if you don't want me to hear you jogging back try not dragging your feet with shoes 3 sizes too big hanging from your feet. Just a tip!
5) These random kids. Mommy wants to go have coffee/hot affair with her friend/inernet hook-up this morning, and I've heard there's some foreign dude babysitting at your school for free. You can come home around 1:00, ok? No kidding, I don't know if this happens at other schools, but almost daily I have these random kids show up that aren't on my list and have no idea why they're there. Sometimes they stay for different classes. But they're always only there for one day. Then there's these two other kids who started bringing their little brothers to our class. So in a 3rd grade class I have two 1st graders. And you know what, fine. But you would think it would be common courtesy to ask me if it was alright. Nope, just show up without warning and let me deal with it. Oh, did I mention that these kids are the ones who are always late?
I mean, I don't fool myself. It's not school anymore than it's a camp. It's babysitting pure and simple. It's easy and I actually like the change from the grind, so it's not bad or anything. At least the kids have been good. Well, up until today when one of them stabbed another kid with scissors and then had a nervous breakdown complete with chair throwing and table turning over when I asked him to see me outside. I mean, it wouldn't be Korea without childhood psychosis.
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