Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I say a little prayer for you


Within the first hour of warming this seat with my buttocks this morning I had three seperate students come in for English camp. The information I received said English camp didn't start until January 4th, but the information I received also said my principal was a kind individual, so I've learned to be skeptical of all information I get. Anyway, after the kids rambled on in Korean for 3 minutes while sporting the most interested look I could muster I finally brought them down to the head office. The lone Korean working there (if updating cyworld is considered work, and it is in Korea...who am I to talk?), anyway she listened to them---another side note: I'm always amazed at how long it takes for a Korean kids to say, "I'm here for English camp". I had 2 cups of coffee while one of them explained this to the lady.--- so anyway, she turns to me and I do the X with my arms and say in my best/horribly bad Korean, "NO ENGLISH CLASS TODAY!" She checks the calendar (because, you know, me being the English teacher why would I know when English class is?) and finally agrees and tells the kids.

Once the kids leave I'm on a caffeine rush because it took another 3 cups to explain the situation to the them, and the Korean lady asks me, "No class, why you school?" I frown and point to the dark and empty principal's office. She looks away like I just told her my mother recently died of AIDS after years of selling her body. It's a mix of shame, embarrassment and empathy, with a hint of 'get the hell out of my office'.

About half an hour later my principal arrives and quickly comes to my room to check that I'm here. Lord, she was still wearing her coat. Listen lady, why don't you make sure you get here on time before you worry about me. She comes in to confirm that I'm working on my winter camp materials. Of course I have a ppt open in another window away from the hockey game I'm watching and blog I'm using to libel her. Despite my appearance, I'm not stupid. I smile and say, oh yes, so much work. I couldn't possibly handle more, haha. Smiles. haha. How are you today. Haha. Oh, the weather has really warmed up, hahahaha. Your coat is so nice, very bright colour. Oh, thank you, but no I haven't gotten a hair cut. Hahah. See you later! Smile!

And then I say a little prayer for the little part of my soul that just died.

Some people call it being fake. I call it working in Korea. Despite my ranting, my job is ridiculously easy. Mind you, it could be easier, hence this angry bitter blog. In Korea, most of the job is just appearing happy or jeong-ing with your co-workers. It can all be easily faked. Thankfully, the concept of irony and sarcasm is lost on most Koreans, so you can actually be open and honest while giving the impression that you're complimenting them.

Me: "Oh, I like your suit. It's so shiny! I can almost see my reflection in it!"
Korean: "Thank you!"

Me: "I've never seen a man wear that colour before. It really brings out your personality."
Korean: "Thank you!"

Me: "Korean food has caused me to lose weight because I just can't bring myself to eat as much of it."
Korean: "Korea number 1!"

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