You may ask why are you on the interweb on the Eve of the biggest party in the Western world? Well, I'm taking a break here to say that I'm an asshole. But I'm not such a big asshole that I can't admit that this evening gets to me. I would wipe away the tear now if I was born with tear ducts, or even the human capability to feel emotion. Instead, I rely on 75% rum to make me sensient. And man am I feeling sensient. That's a word, right?
So merry day to everyone, even you joyless Jews. I mean that in the most offensive way possible.
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